Counselling Corner

“My sexual desire comes in peaks and valleys, but these days the peaks are fewer and further between. Do I need medical help?”

I’m a 35-year-old gay man. I’ve always felt as though my sexual cycles may be different to everyone else’s. Sexual desire comes in peaks and valleys; I have periods of high sexual activity and then it plummets to almost zero.

In my 20s, I shrugged it off by not staying in sexual or romantic relationships for long, having more casual partners in the highs and just enjoying time alone in the lows. However, as I get older, I notice these peaks are fewer and further between and much less pronounced. I worry that, now I’m longing for more stable relationships, I may not be able to offer a fulfilling sex life to a potential partner. Is this a medical condition I should fix? Or is this something I should learn to negotiate with any potential partner?

Men and women have cycles of libido – largely driven by hormonal activity – and everyone has to learn to adapt to them. These cycles and their intensity naturally change as we age or undergo life changes. They are also affected by elements such as stress, fatigue, anxiety and illness.

There are so many causes of low libido, which will hinder willingness to chew each other. Apart from the above mentioned elements; there are others that are physical. Examples include environment, which will affect romance of a partner.  What does it mean? Well, from today know that a bad environment; unromantic environment is number one killer of romance or willingness to lock up in love.  This include untidy bedrooms, unhygienic places as well as dressing etc

Besides, selfesteem also kills romance and leads to low libido. If, a partner, for instance is broke he/she will have a low selfesteem hence low libido.