Slay Mama celebrates her divorce

A slay Mama is celebrating her divorce in style. She says the post she made on her random thoughts yesterday caused a stir among many men.

Those men displayed their displeasure to me, saying I sided with the women. Do I take sides with the women? We will find out at the end of this post.

For the records, I don’t take sides with any gender. I only take sides with the truth. That’s what a professional counselor and coach should do.

If I address the women, I also do the same with men. I am fair to both parties.

Yesterday’s message was a CLARION CALL for the society to educate both genders (the men and women) about marriage because no one spouse has all it takes to make a marriage work all alone.

Because the society constantly leaves the men out when it comes to marriage education, many are not good husbands to their wives. I have many proofs for my claims as a counselor.

Now let me mention a few areas WE the men are unfair to our women:

1. A married man will still keep in touch with his exs, yet frowns at his wife who is doing the same.

2. A married man has female friends, yet he gets angry when his wife has male friends.

3. A married man will password his phone, yet when his wife does same, he says she is cheating on him.

4. A married man will send money to his parents and siblings without the knowledge of his wife, and when his wife does same, he complains about her actions.

5. As a married man, he wants to know the income of his wife, yet he is unwilling to do same towards his wife.

6. As a married man he cheats on his wife constantly and the society says it’s in men’s DNA to cheat, but if the wife does same the society will be chanting “abomination”.

7. A married man will travel overseas for greener pastures for years without visiting his wife and children he left behind. While there, he is helping himself sexually with another lady. When the wife whom he has left behind many years ago without coming to see her is horny, she is expected to bear the sexual urge, kill the sexual urge. Pray against the sexual urge. She mustn’t cheat on him. Never.

8. A married man will be asking his income-earning wife to give him all her money at the end of the month for him to handle, yet he can’t do same towards her.

9. In many marriages, some husbands have stopped their wives from being in contact with their families and friends. Whereas they themselves are much in contact with their own side of the family and friends.

10. In many marriages, when the husbands received a call or want to make a phone call, they will excuse themselves from the presence of their wives, but if the wives do same it becomes a big problem at home.

Etc.

Now my lovely men, can we be less sentimental in our marriages?

Guys, let me tell you one thing: not every marriage out there is like the scenario of a “cat and mouse” (I mean Tom and Jerry affairs). There are many blissful homes and yours can become one of them. But will you do the right thing for once?

One big challenge MANY (please take note of the word “many”. I didn’t say ALL men) have is that they are unfair and unjust to their WIVES. There can’t be marital peace that way. The marital realities in many marriages are like the case of Nigeria where one major tribe is unfair to the two other major tribes. There won’t be peace. “Ko le work!” It can’t work!

In many marriages, the men are not happy in them, and they have been complaining for years. Please sirs, stop complaining for a while. Check if there’s nothing you are not doing right yourselves. Problems show that something is wrong somewhere. That should be your thinking and approach in order to avoid divorce.

Bullying one’s wife in marriage isn’t the right approach. Acting like you are a tyrant or taskmaster won’t solve the problem. Be a true lover and lead by example, otherwise you may be a candidate of divorce.

In my marriage I lead by example. For instance:

I can’t have female friends and tell my wife not to have any. I have no moral justification to tell her that.

I can’t be cheating on my wife and tell her never to cheat on me. I have no moral justification to tell her that.

If I am not financially transparent towards my wife. I have no moral justification to tell her to be financially transparent towards me.

The list goes on and on.

Can you see that as MEN many of us are the real problem in our marriages, not our WIVES? (I am not saying that all WIVES are perfect).  Who initiates divorce anyway?

Remember: marriage isn’t a bondage a or concentration camp. It’s a place of love where the two spouses are to live in love, understanding and fairness.

As long as we the men continue to display chauvinistic tendencies or behaviors in our marriages, our women will continue with their campaign for divorce/feminism. Chauvinism is the cause of FEMINISM. Please let’s be fair!